Recent Studies Show...

If this is true...The Hubby & I are going to live to be at least 100 years old!

Fighting With Spouse Can Be Good For Your Health

don't want to jump to the link? here are the highlights from the CNN article by Diane Mapes.

"A study published in January followed 192 married couples in Michigan from 1971 to 1988 and found that those who kept their anger in when unfairly attacked did not live as long as those who expressed their anger, says lead study author Ernest Harburg, Ph.D., an emeritus research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health and psychology department..."

...Women in particular may put their health at risk by holding back during arguments with their spouse, a 10-year study of 4,000 men and women from Framingham, Massachusetts, found. "Women who 'self-silenced' during conflict with their spouse, compared with women who did not, had four times the risk of dying, " according to findings published in 2007 in the journal "Psychosomatic Medicine... The nuts and bolts of a healthy fight are to...

Express Yourself
Harburg says the first step is to let the person know you're mad -- the sooner, the better.

Don't pout, let it out
If pouting leads to talking about the issue, then you're ahead of the game," says Harburg. "But passive-aggressive behavior doesn't work. It doesn't solve the problem. The best thing is if you can establish some kind of ritual, like regularly sitting down at a table to talk about your issues."

Communication and compromise
Harburg says both partners have to be willing to listen and work toward a compromise; otherwise it's a no-go.

One final tip: Keep your sense of humor."

"Don't pout let it out?" Somehow I imagine some 4 degree psychoanalyst who happily spends more time in the lab than he does knockin' boots with his girlfriend came up with that gem.

But all in all I have to agree. To outsiders it may seem that The hubby and I fight a lot. But we are proud that we have never let anything simmer and that neither one of us are harboring any feelings of resentment towards to other. We do have a happier relationship because we lay it all out. Sometimes I get frustrated because no matter how hard I try I just can't stay mad at him for very long.