Where the F have you been?

Oh my sweet jebus. Have things been all a tizzy this past week. Lets start with a few facts. Fact: my "manager" Ashley has hated me from day one. (Because she's a spoiled teenager like that.) Fact: It drove her Ca-Ca-CRAZY that I didn't give a rats ass what she thought about me. Fact: It drove her equally as insane the fact that short of catching me stealing from the place I was untouchable. Fact: I was brought on at the Coffee House to bring things to a new level. Concentrating on fine tuning the customer service, marketing, and production. Fact: I have never asked Ashley to be anything other than Ashley I only challenged her to be a better more productive manager and employee. Fact: From day one that girl has cock blocked any and all suggestions for improvement made by me.



About a week and a half ago I get a call from Ashley asking me about some deposits that were missing and did I know about them. Um no..that was news to me. I start asking her about common denominators. who was working the day they went missing. Did she know any of this. "uh no" well then what the hell are you asking me about them for? Shouldn't you as the manager research all of this before? I tell her that I'll try to come in early and maybe I can help her figure it out. I get there ask her my same questions and she says she doesn't know. I say out loud "what the hell is going on? who would do such a thing?" and she smiles in a not very subtle way says "I know isn't it Crazy?" It's then that I say to my self, "Self If I didn't know any better I'd think this girl wants to set you up" And my self says "no shit Sherlock".

What followed is quite honestly something out of some horrible TV sitcom about backstabbing teenagers. Ashley starts calling my boss and telling him that I'm having all sorts of conversations with people I barely know much less see. Telling them all about the missing money and that I think it's a particular co-worker (we'll call her "Sandra"). What really cracks me up is that according to her I'm telling upstanding members of the community this information. People that I talk to MAYBE once a month about Chamber of Commerce Business (for oh 5 minutes). People that if in a fit of temporary insanity I decided to say the things that I'm accused of saying, would look at me and go "why the hell are you telling me this?". Better yet I'm apparently having these elaborate conversations with "Sandra" about whether or not a paper stuffed deposit envelope "feels like it's got money inside" (all together now... "What the Hell?")

I feel as though I'm trapped in some weird Twilight Zone moment. I'm being asked if I said some of the most preposterous things. I'm being accused of having close relationships with people I barely know. In fact it's become a joke amongst my boss and I. "I'm glad someone thinks I have friends." I say. Oh but hold onto your panties cuz the Crazy just keeps coming.

Last Monday at 12pm I get a call from my boss saying that Ashley and her trashier clone "Brenna" have walked out. "Sandra" has also quit. My boss had simply asked Ashley to relay to the police all the supposed conversations I had had with "Sandra". Ashley says "I can't do that to Sandra" hands my boss her key and walks out "Brenna" of course does everything that Ashley does and walks out too.

This my friends is stellar small town bullshit at it's best. And even though I've done my damnedest to avoid this very type of thing. (there is a reason I have NO friends in this area) I seemed to have stepped in it anyway.

And the stories keep coming!! Even my boss is now going, where the hell are you coming up with this?! I'm quite the popular one it seems. Even now that I'm working 12 hour days because her guilty ass quit according to her I still seem to find time to converse with people who on Ashley's best day would have nothing to do with her. But yet they all seem to call her and tell her I said these things. Even though the reality is. I haven't talked to them in months. Next thing you know the Mayor is going to text her say "hey Ashley, Frances was telling me the other day that she thought you were such a skanky bitch, and because your my girl I thought you should know. okay ttyl bff layta!"

My days of late have been filled with swollen, aching feet, out of the ass accusations (which my boss no longer believes thank god) and white balls of rage. I've never in my life experienced anything like this. And I have absolutely no idea how to deal with it. So far I just keep telling myself, that she's going to slip up and all will be revealed. I've been quiet and mature. On the surface I appear to be unaffected by it all. I feel all kinds of things when confronted by this situation. Some come from a mother's perspective "she's just jealous of all the attention the boss has given me" "she's been surrounded by drama her whole life". Some come from a place deep down that wants to knock on her door and give her a good smack down. And then there is a part of me that wants to weep and ask her why the hell would she want to do this to me? What have I done that would make her want me to get arrested for theft? "Ashley, I was thinking that the 1st shift should have a to do list like 2nd shift" - oh that bitch has to pay. "Ashley, I had some luck putting a basket of baked goods out by the register why don't you give it a try" -that's it I've got to get her out of here. I mean really. Perhaps she was just annoyed because I didn't have my nose up her ass like just about everyone else that has worked there. Perhaps she didn't like that when she threw her little fits I treated her just like Stella, by stepping over her and going about my business.

All I know is, I want this all to be over. I want my little coffeehouse to rise above all of this better and stronger than before. I want to be better and stronger than before.