Fashion Faux Pas

As a "big" girl I gave up on style (in the fashion sense) YEARS ago. None of the outfits my friends wore or favorite singers rocked were accessible to me. Be it a money or a size issue. In my teens the internet was in its infancy, so all the great online stores now available to women of my stature were but a pipe dream then. But at the time grunge was the rage and the flannel was a plenty at our local thrift store. I was a concert t, jeans and doc martens kind of gal. But my clothes usually had some kind of statement behind them. Usually "I write a fanzine, look at me brood" or "music snob" or "Damn the man!"

In my twenties, I tried to acquire some sense of style and from time to time I had a few successful outfits (which normally involved black pants). But I was never good at figuring out what worked best for my body while also showing off my personal taste. I started playing it safe. Black pants, dark shirt, crimson lips. I loved going out for drinks because it allowed me to venture out of my comfort zone. But still my fashion risk taking was eventually relegated to shoes and hair. At that time I had also convinced myself that caring about fashion or style somehow made me vain, that it somehow meant that I was conforming to the status quo or trying to be something I wasn't. (DAMN THE MAN!)

Here's the thing... something has happened to me in my old age. It started with me easily spending 15 minutes just staring into my closet frustrated as hell because almost everything I had said the wrong thing about me. Everything was either color coordinated or straight off the rack at lane bryant. I have beautiful friends of all sizes who seem to effortlessly have this way of putting an outfit together that just speaks volumes about them in such a wonderful way. Why couldn't I do that? I started to see that how I dress isn't about pleasing anyone else, nor is it conforming to some societal norm of what someone my size should wear. That if I was smart about it, it could be really be this great avenue to nurture and express parts of my personality. Sort of like my youth but this time a little healthier and perhaps more polished.

So true to my nerdly-ness. I started researching. I googled every "fat girl" fashion blog I could. But more often than not they involved either really tight mini dresses (fat is SEXY!!) or leopard print moo moos (hide those rolls behind the illusion of wildlife!) Which right on to all you ladies that are in that mindset. But I'm neither here nor there. There was no in between, no pictures of women my size in something someone in her early 30's would be seen in. (that was not insanely Photoshopped, or insanely expensive) Nothing spoke to me. I found myself looking again (as in my youth) pining after the outfits of women who's bodies were completely different than mine. But then something happened. I found one blog, then another and so on... (I love mitten paws and frocks and frou frou) While I couldn't necessarily see myself in every outfit they created, I saw them taking risks, blazing their own trail. I was finally able to see what worked and what didn't work. I was able to get real examples of curvy women with great taste!!

Pinterest has also been hugely instrumental. I'm taking outfits I like and going to my stores and making them my own. You can take a printed blouse and put it with a striped cardigan?! Who knew!! For the first time, I'm thinking about what I want to say, what I want to share, and I'm finding the clothes that say it. And while I'm not an old hand at it just yet. I'm getting there. (I promise I'll share some pics soon) I know I don't have to find the same blouse, the same pants, but if I like the color combinations I can find something I absolutely love the way I feel in. And I guess that the bottom line folks; I can love the way I feel in an outfit, all the time not just on a special occasion. And more importantly I deserve to feel that way.