You can pick your friends...

You can pick your nose... but you can't pick your family.

I find great comfort in knowing I'm not the only one in the world with one crazy ass family. Just chock full of drama and issues, cooks and crazys. When the family seas are calm oh it's such a wonderful ride. But when the storms blow in (usually without warning) holey moley am I gripping the sides of the boat. For the longest time Mrs Drama (my moms) instilled nay burrowed into me that you never turn your back on family no matter what. Sure you may talk smack behind their back but your ALWAYS there for them when the chips are down no matter how much you may dislike them as people. And this has worked for most of my adult life... until I became a mother.

I stopped apologizing for my balls to the wall point of view. The more I embraced motherhood, the more I realized when the chips are down it's about HER not them. She's my family and I refuse to apologize if I choose to protect her from toxic people (be they blood or not)

Mrs Drama likes to say that blood is thicker than water. But I learned a long time ago that just because your blood doesn't make you a good person to be around. That a father can be found in someone who had nothing to do with your conception & birth. That a sisterhood can be born in a hospital room holding the hand of a childhood friend in her darkest hour.

My Dear husband has taught me in our short time together that life is so fleeting. It's so fragile and it can be taken away in an instant. I've been so incredibly blessed that I've really been able to learn this lesson from him. One of the countless things I've learned by watching him make his way through the world, Is that life can be so wonderful if you cut out all the bullshit. The days are brighter, the air sweeter, the moments that you share with those you really love become priceless. I'm lucky that I haven't had to face the darkness that he has to learn this lesson.

I don't have to suffer the bullshit just because someone is "family" NO ONE should. Why should I (even if it is once a year) make nice with a relative who would rather give the maid a day off and scrub her bathroom floor with her own toothbrush instead of have a 10 minute conversation with me? Why should I let bygones be bygones with my cracked out, white trash, two-bit, scheming, "woe is me-all the bad in my life is EVERYONE elses fault but my own" step brother? Why should I have anything to do with a cousin who thinks he's doing ME a favor by giving me a fourth of my fulltime paycheck owed to me one month after his actions contributed to serious financial rammifications for my immediate family?

Don't get me wrong I'm not asking for perfection. We all make mistakes god knows I do. But there's a difference between taking a wrong turn or saying the wrong thing and being a genuinely toxic person. I'm well aware that deep down inside some of the cooks and crazies that are my family there are good people. But if the nastiness they create daily for themselves has the potential to spill into my life to put my life, my daughter in jeopardy. You bet your sweet ass I'm going to cut the line and head for calmer seas.