The Granny Conspiracy

Recently The Hubby went back to work full time as a wine master on a local vineyard (very cool story I'll fill you in on later). I will begin to pull back on my full time work duties as Gal Friday for the town of Columbia. In light of these events we've had to rely on Grandma for childcare more in the past few weeks that we have since Stella came into our life. Ned and I used to joke that we had to "de-program" Stella after a visit with 'ghangi' & 'paw-paw'. She comes back to us so defiant and full of diva attitude that we spend the better part of two days just disciplining her back into shape. She spends a lot of time in her room during these moments. Yesterday after my mom left from a day of babysitting and the snotty behaivor began. Lately I've been attributing it to the "Terrible Two's" that will officially begin a week from today. But after seeing them together, and seeing how my mom handles her or doesn't handle her for that matter. I can't help but wonder if the whole Terrible Two's (& Three's so I hear) aren't really a product of Grandma getting her revenge on mommy for all the shit I caused her as a teenager.

Stay with me on this one. Think about it. Grandma's are "supposed to spoil" right? Why is that the norm? Why can't they be disciplinarians? Why can't they support the structure that Mommy and Daddy both work very hard to create? What if there is a secret granny society that swaps tips on how to completely reverse any and all progress you make as parents. All in some attempt to get their kids back for all the torture we've caused them... My kid is only two and I already think I'd join that society when or if I ever become a granny. That has to be it. It's not them testing their boundaries or struggling with communication issues. It's grandma stealthily weaving this web of chaos. It's years of payback being cashed in!

"Sure Stella you can have those Cheetos" = Take that Frances for all those nights you snuck out.
"Now what do we do when Mommy or Daddy says no? That's right Stella we scream! SCREAM to the top of your lungs!" = That's for the misfit, pot smoking, trouble making boyfriend you dated sophmore year in high school.
"Aww you want to play on the computer and fuck it up beyond repair your so cute!" = That's for all the times you interrupted my Mommy & Daddy play hide the salami time



SEE!! It all makes sense now! Well played Mrs Drama! Bravo Granny BRAVO!