Watch Your Mouth

I've learned a lot these past few weeks being the stay at home parent for the first time. There's so much more going on with my kid than I ever imagined. This past week she's been throwing out the sentences like a mad woman. "no Zoe!" (our new puppy) "I poopied mommy...Stinkie!" "are you hungry?" "what you wanna watch?"
or my favorites "Come ON!!" and "What's up butt" (her take on her dad always saying to her.."what's up monkey butt")

How can it be that I'm just completely I love with this this smart, funny, affectionate kid one second. And completely ready to tie her to the nearest tree wilst I get to enjoy 2 minutes in a world without tantrums the next? It feels like overnight she went from this drooling, babbling awkward toddler to this sentence speaking, attitude throwing KID.

I've learned a lot about myself these past few weeks can anyone spare a prozac? Most of all I've learned I really have to watch what I say around Stella. You see long ago when Ned and I were in the throes of the first-time-parents-we'll-do-it-better-than-them elitism. God we were pompous jerks! One of the crazy notions that we had was that we would never censor ourselves infront of our kids. Infact we got a kick out of Stella saying "Chit" and "breakin ma bawlz" thanks dad But lately she's been throwing out the "Shut Ups" and today while I was cleaning up puppy poop for the umpteenth time I distinctly heard her say "goddammit Zoe" thanks mom And well... I don't like it when my little girl says that. One hot plate of crow coming up. I of all people know how powerful words are. I also know how destructive they can be if you don't understand their meaning. Stella understands about 90% of the words she knows. And there are a million other words I would rather her know that those. I keep thinking about how that space those words have laid claim to in her brain could have been better used for other more useful words. Like "my mommy rocks" or "girls rule" or "George Bush is the Devil"

And while I don't see myself cleaning up my sailor mouth anytime soon, I know I've got to try harder to make sure she learns all those other more important words and phrases. Like "frozen or on the rocks Mommy" and "I love Coldplay no matter what Daddy says" So I leave you now take the walk of shame yet again "we'll never let the TV babysit our daughter", "we'll never let her have chicken nuggets or french fries" to the alter of "never EVER say NEVER!"