30 Days

Angie, over at Gathering recently asked "what's up with the Friday only posts?" Well I can say that I've been busy and it would be the truth. I can also say that I haven't been up to much and that would also be the truth.

Lately I've been doing a lot of internal housekeeping. Asking myself why I've made the choices I have in my life. I've been reading a great book that I plan to discuss in the next In The Stacks post. This book has knocked me on my ass. It's held a mirror up to me..pressed it right in my face and has said nay screamed. TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF WOMAN!

I'm determined to be a better person. Determined to live the kind of life I am proud of. Determined to make the right choices for myself. To be true to myself. To eliminate those parts of me that drag me down. The parts of me that ultimately hurts me and those I care about.

They say that it takes 30 days to create a new habit and to solidify a new way of doing things. I'm realistic about this. A lifetime of not taking care of my body is not going to be corrected in 30 days. A lifetime of self doubt will not be resolved in 30 days. But I've learned and finally accepted that it really isn't the destination it's the journey that's the most important.

We all talk about how "oh I'm so bad at this" or "I wish I didn't do this or that". But honestly who else is going to fix the problem if not ourself? These bad qualities... They become a crutch for mediocrity. For never really getting what we want out of our lives. I don't mean to sound like a late night infomercial motivational tape pusher. But it's the truth. If there is something I don't like about myself only I have the power to change it.

The reason I've failed in the past at correcting my undesired behavior can be attributed to the fact that I always wanted to level the building without ever considering that all I really needed to do were some renovations. (Bad metaphor but it works)

My first focus is my procrastination. I'm an awful procrastinator. Perpetually late is an understatement. I was 30 minutes late for my first date with the hubby. Friends say I'll be late to my own funeral. I can find some way to twiddle away hours of time without ever accomplishing a thing. This affects all aspects of my life. So I'm starting small. It may seem silly but for the next thirty days here are 5 things I will devote myself to. This list is compiled to cut away those things that hold me back. And bring into my life attributes I've fallen short of in the past.

1)I WILL NOT visit perezhilton.com. This site sucks up wayyy!! too much of my time, it brings absolutely nothing to my life and frankly I come away feeling like I've cheated myself in some way.

2)Same goes for People.com no visits for 30 days

3)I will each night create a to do list for the next day with 5 tasks to complete that I would normally avoid. I will not rest until each of those tasks have been completed.

4)I will wear some degree of make-up and style my hair for no reason at all. I've never been much of a make up wearer but damn it I could slap on some concealer maybe some gloss for goodness sakes.

5)I will read 20 pages of a book.

Every day for 30 days my friends starting now. Want to play along? I'd love nothing more. So what are your 5 things?